Sign up for the tour to a strange far-off land where they speak funny isn’t it, and really love their livestock: The club officials for this festival of fun are: Tour Manager, judge, jury and executioner – Judge Driver

Chief Snitch – Ellboy

Itinerary:

Weds 13th – Golf day for those who give a toss. Lager day for the rest.
Thurs 14th - Miskin
Fri 15th - Whitchurch Heath

Awards

Match day awards will be presented for the following achievements:

Duck of the Day – for the most outstanding runless and shite innings of the day

The Gower Award - for the “champagne moment” (on or off the field)

Man of the Match – speaks for itself, but frankly it’s no big deal

Twat of the Day - this is where it really counts

NB. All awards must be worn by the honoured recipients for the early part of the evening, carefully looked after, and returned to de judge the next day.

Accommodation has been booked at The Sandringham Hotel in the centre of Cardiff. Cost £30 per night B&B. Non-refundable £10 deposit payable to Ali Driver by 2nd July.

Tour Rules

Rule 1. Those who have previously toured with Sonning Cricket Club, must wear a t-shirt from a previous tour during the daytime on tour – ie until changing into your best togs to get into Flares and Chicken Cottage

Rule 2. Those who have never toured with Sonning before, are classified as Tour Virgins and must bring along and wear a t-shirt with the words SONNING CC TOUR VIRGIN emblazoned large on the front. This shirt must be worn as in Rule 1 above.

Rule 3. A cuddly toy must be kept on your person at all times, apart from when you are playing in the matches. This cuddly toy must be too large to fit into a normal trouser pocket and must be produced when challenged by any other member of the tour party.

Rule 4. All non-players must be present during the matches for barracking duties etc

Rule 5. Failure to comply with Rules 1-4 above will result in an automatic fine of £5 for each day when the offence occurred, thus fuelling Wildthing’s lager kitty.

Remember if we didn’t have rules, where would be? That’s right – France

Judge Driver